I’ve not really written much on this site in a while, the last two months worth of weekly posts were all pre-written and scheduled when I had one of my ‘frenzy’ blog writing months. Life has caught up with me a bit and I’m looking at a blurred future.
I wanted to be a vet for the longest time, went to interviews and swore that this was what I wanted. I went on work experience at three different veterinary practices and spent 5 weeks in South Africa shadowing a vet. I volunteered at the donkey sanctuary and at my local petting farm and much more. I thoroughly enjoyed all of it.
But when it comes right down to it, I don’t want to be a vet anymore. I thought I did up until recently, but I think I’ve known for a while.
I withdrew my application from the Royal Veterinary College in London and then again for Nottingham. I told everyone that I was rejected and then I applied for a general biology degree. This is because at this moment in time I don’t know what I want to be. I don’t know which direction I want to go in. I do miss learning though.
I am so directionless that I started this blog post wanting to write about cutting out plastics from our oceans and now I’m talking about my feelings instead.
I am doing a lot more quilting these days, which I think is a bit symbolic of preparing for the future. My partner, Joel and I will be moving out together soon and it can’t come soon enough for me. I crave my own space and I always have. I also can’t wait to have more space for my friends. I haven’t seen my best friend in months and it feels like years. Having a spare room will make things so much easier.
It’s less stressful and more exciting than the last time. It feels more like the natural progression people keep telling me about. It feels like I could stay and there is no rush or time limit our moving. We can take our time finding the right place and looking around. We can take our time to get the referencing done and organise moving our things.
Today I left a 1-star review on our previous disaster of an estate agent’s google page. It was a year ago now but in total, we wasted a grand on that endeavour and have nothing to show for it which thoroughly ticks me off. It feels good to express it publically and warn others of potential disastrous dealings with them.
Anyway, new house. I can’t wait. I find myself looking at new kitchenware, including eco-friendly plastic alternatives (knew I’d get to the point eventually). I worry about money, as usual. Working at the college is great but I don’t have work over the summer and so those months may be tricky if we have already moved before then. I also don’t have a full-time work pattern exactly and it usually works out at about 30 hours a week. My social media work helps but as I’m technically self-employed the tax is a nightmare to sort out. I’ve thought of pulling out altogether except for the fact that I need to think about those summer months.
I’m happy, but the winter has me a bit blue.